Sorry to hear this Sulphur. Are these incidents in person? Over email? It matters.
Then again, maybe not that much. I think a step in the right direction would be if you promised yourself NEVER to accept anything (even the most obvious of requests/invitations) right after you've been asked. Set a rule for yourself. You will spend at least x hours or days (where x can be as low as 1) to contemplate a request/invitation.
Some things look really great or obvious or pressing in the moment, but once you've had even just a little time to contemplate, you realize it's not necessary and nothing will go wrong if you say no (or if something will, that won't be your problem).
For example, let's say you get a request over email. The person sending you the email doesn't know you've even read the email yet. So give yourself some time. If you get a request in person then say that you don't have your calendar on you and will have to check.
Of course, you'll always want to be grateful and polite, but you do NOT have to say yes to everything.
I've said no quite a few times in the past few months. I still have unbelievable amounts going on, of course, but I do feel good about those no's. I don't regret any of them. They weren't all easy, but those no's were all the right decision.
So take some time, that should help.
What goes through your mind exactly when you contemplate saying no, which all then results in a yes?
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Posted by Turquoise Stuff to academicsecret at 8/22/2006 05:40:26 PM
