I am applying to grad programs again. I dropped out of phd program ten years ago. now I am looking to get into a new program. I had been abd. I must be insane. My application is due on wednesday, and I have not gotten my writing sample done. I feel like I am sabotaging myself (again).
I also feel like I cannot write anymore--my sentences are coming out like a first grader. Will I ever get back to where I was? Does it matter? my academic ambitions are what drive me and what is killing me.
Is this a secret? no, but I have many academic secrets lodged inside me. sexual/texual entanglements--bullshit happens. we talk about racism, sexism, but then some things are too humiliating (unfortunately common place as well), and we are silent about them. I dropped out and could not figure out why, but it was so obvious. It did not take me ten years to figure out why but it took me ten years to feel like I could return. should I talk about this honestly in my letter of application? that's a joke. I know better.....in any case, I am now
afraid I ruined my chances.
anyway, enough of the drama and back to my alleged writing sample submission.
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Posted by Anonymous to academicsecret at 10/29/2006 07:22:32 PM
